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One of the best things about going to industry conferences is learning new things. IM Spring Break (IMSB) was no different. Here’s what I learned…

Shana Is NOT British

The very first thing I learned was that Shana Albert (@TheNanny612) is not British. For some reason I had created an alternate reality of her, created by watching too many Nanny 911 episodes.

Women Should NOT Arm Wrestle Neil

Speaking of which, Shana, like many of the women at IMSB, lost arm wrestling matches to Neil Patel (@neilpatel). He somehow managed to win money for himself and Michael Darauch (@chiropractic), while still maintaining some degree of self-respect.

Use Quarkbase to Get Competitive Website Intelligence

Todd Malicoat (@toddmalicoat) introduced everyone to a cool tool called Quarkbase (@quarkbase), a tool for getting competitive intelligence on just about any website.

WebmasterRadio.FM is Now in a Good Position to Blackmail Me

It’s possible that I may have had a little too much to drink on one of the nights I was there, and it’s possible that I made a complete fool of myself while on air talking to Brasco (@BrascoAtWMR). I can only ask for mercy!

Uploading Videos Just Got Easier with TubeMogul

Learned about another useful tool from Chris Winfield (@chriswinfield) called TubeMogul (@tubemogul), which let’s you distribute videos to multiple sites.

Knee Socks Are the Rage!

Found out that Lisa Barone (@lisabarone) knows how to work knee socks at a party. If only she had a knee socks (@kneesockz) website where she could promote them…if only.

I’m Not Worthy of Your Mad Skillz

Got a late night bite to eat with Slightly Shady SEO (@slightlyshady) and found out that Shady knows how to make a ridiculously smart landing page.

“Got Snatch” Is Not What You Think It Is

The winner for the most provocative marketing message was Robert Adler (@Bofu2U) who had t-shirts promoting his new service SiteSnatcher that said “Got Snatch?”

Lookadoo is the Coolest Name Eva!

Dana Lookadoo (@lookadoo) has found the secret to being energetic and I’m jealous!

You Can’t Ruin a Bacon Explosion

Even though the hotel didn’t cook the Bacon Explosion (@BBQAddicts) correctly, Brian Chappell (@brianchappell) still approved of its deliciousness.

Zerbetron is a Roller Blading Girl Bot from the Future

Well, that’s almost true. Erin Zerbe (@zerbetron) is a derby girl, but the bot part is still unconfirmed. She’s definitely from the future though. I know this, because I’m pretty sure we lack the hair coloring technology to make her hair look the way it does.

“SEO Band” Changes Name to “Bacon Explosion”

While we’re on the topic of Bacon Explosion, did you hear about the new band “Bacon Explosion”? It’s made up of Jeff Quipp (@jquipp), Tony Adam (@tonyadam) and Loren Baker (@lorenbaker). I’m sad to say that Steve Plunkett (@steveplunkett) was unable to join the group, because he hurt everyone’s ears when he sang, but at least he still has DJing to fall back on.

You Can Find Good Sites with Marks and Tubes

I discovered that Wil Reynolds (@wilreynolds) has a plan, and it involves lots of bookmarks and pipes.

The Hot Garbage Smell is a Feature

Erin Zerbe (@zerbetron) taught me to not ride the shuttle bus, because it smells like hot garbage, and nuts and butts! Good advice!

These Guys Are Totally Freakin’ Awesome to the Max! (Like Totally)

Loren Baker (@lorenbaker), Dave Snyder (@davesnyder) and Jordan Kasteler (@JordanKasteler) know how to put on an amazing industry conference. It was well run, fun, educational and had the best food I’ve ever had at a conference (ever!).

Flying with the Flock

Aside from everything else, I got to finally meet several Raven customers face-to-face. We don’t talk about our users publicly, so you know who you are, and thank you!

George Wright of Blendtec did the Wednesday Keynote address at PubCon 08 this morning. For his finale, he blended a rake. Enjoy!

Blending a Rake at PubCon 08 (Will it Blend) on 12seconds.tv

Update: At Matt’s request, he wanted me to make it more clear to people that this entry was posted in the Humorous section. And indeed, this entry was 50% joke and 50% serious. Serious, only in the fact that I think some of the panelists’ presentations would have been a little different if Matt hadn’t been there. If anything, Rand’s presentation probably stuck the closest to what he was going to present, because it basically mimicked his link buying blog entry from earlier in the week. Oh, and lastly, this is just my opinion and impression of that session — which happens to be shared by many of the attendees I talked to.

As most SEO specialists know, Matt Cutts — aka Google Search King — hates paid links. In fact, he has an all out war against link brokers like PayPerPost and Text Link Ads.

Unlike other search marketing conferences, PubCon is known for teaching the darker side of SEO and SEM. It’s been called the DEF CON of webmaster conferences, which is exactly why it attracts Matt Cutts. Consider Matt the equivalent of a federal agent, but out in the open, wearing his Google sheriff’s badge.

One of the highlights of PubCon Las Vegas 2007 this year was the session on Link Buying — at least it was until Matt showed up. The headlining panel of speakers included experts like Rand Fishkin, Aaron Wall and Jim Boykin. However, once they saw Matt in the back of the room, the panelists were too afraid to talk about anything interesting or important in regards to link buying. The best example of this was when Jim Boykin stood up to give his presentation, and basically told everyone he didn’t have anything to say.

In the back of the room — as this picture clearly captured — Matt Cutts took out a candy bar and crushed it in the palm of his hand, obviously signaling to the panelists that they would be next if they said the wrong thing.